Quite A Mad Story Indeed
by xshaiyaxstar
Summary: Alice Is back in Wonderland, though she doesnt remember it. Alice/Hatter pairing. Rating may change later **REGINALD THEOPHILUS THE THIRD BELONGS TO BRIANNA GARCIA AND ONLY HER!** I forget to put a disclaimer on every chapter...so yeah there is!
1. Chapter One: Ears

The young woman pulls her keys out of the now locked door; she places a strand of her beautiful blonde hair behind her ear, out of her face. She didn't exactly know why she wanted to go by the old oak tree, where she used to play by, just that she did.

_Besides, I do need a break._ She thinks. She had been filing bills and letters for her boss for the past four and a half hours. It was, in her opinion, quite a boring thing to do on a Saturday.

Her black heels click on the stone path, towards the gate separating her house from the rest of the world. She always felt that the best part about her house was that it's so close to the rolling green hills and untamed wild. Her plum colored dress swishes slightly as she closes the fence door. It had been a number of years since she'd been to the tree, as she approaches the old tree; her thoughts go to her late cat. _I do wish Dina were here…how I miss her so. _She touches the bark softly. "Ah…" She sighs, moving her hair to one side, so as to let the warm sun beat down upon it, "To go back to those days…"

"What would you do if you could?" A voice asks her from behind.

"I beg your pardon?" She says, startled. She turns to face the owner of the voice, to her great surprise the person…or better, the animal to whom the voice belongs was none other than a large brown HHHHHHHGHHare.

"I said," He began, his voice tinged with slight impatience, "What would you do if you could go back?"

She thinks about it a moment, "Well…I don't really know…But it isn't possible to go back at, so it doesn't matter in the least." _This is an odd conversation…I can just see my mother asking me on the phone what I did today, and I would reply, 'Oh nothing mother, just went to the old tree and chatted with a Hare about simpler days' She'd send me to the Mad House in an instant! _

"Ah, my dear, that's where you're wrong." A grin spreads across his furry face, "Nothing is impossible." Before she could respond he went on, "Now, the question is how badly you want to go back."

"I'm sorry, but I'm not following exactly what you're saying…"

"Let's start at the beginning before I go on, what exactly did you say your name was again?"

"I didn't." When he didn't seem inclined to respond, she sighs, "If you must know, its Alice…Alice Liddell. And you are?"

His smile seems to broaden as she says her name, "I am the March Hare, but you may call me, Ears."

Note from Keri: Just the beginning, I am still trying to finish my InuYasha one, when Bri-Chan got me hooked on Alice In Wonderland and the mad hatter and alice pairing! Since Bri hasn't emailed me back about using Reg as the hatter, I am just going to go ahead and do it. Reginald belongs to Bri and ONLY Bri! But he won't be mentioned till chapter 3.


	2. Chapter Two: The Queen's Request

Chapter 2: The Queens Request

To: Alice  
From: The Head Queen of Wonderland

My dear child, you may remember Wonderland, as an ever fading dream. Or you may not. In any case, whether you remember or not, you are cardinally invited to attend the annual spring ball. You will be a guest in my palace, and will have no need to bring anything but yourself. Things are changing in Wonderland, and you may find yourself somewhere you belong.

Sincerely Yours,

Queen Adella

Alice stares at the paper Ears had given her, she rereads it several times thinking, 'What will I do…I can't simply refuse a Queen…Do I even get a choice in the matter…I wonder.' As she ponders this, she notices Ears drinking from a small tea cup, that wasn't there before. He stirs the brown liquid inside it with his finger then sips it lightly.

"You're finished reading?" He asks her, taking yet another sip.

"Yes, but where is Wonderland? I don't think I've seen it on any map, and if I haven't then I certainly haven't been there before…" Alice looks at him, confusion ridding her face.

"Ah, so you have forgotten us at Wonderland. I figured as much. We certainly remember you, the little girl in blue, who's always a little too curious." He smiles gently, before rising to his furry paws and looking at a watch. "Tell me Alice Liddell, what day is it?"

"I believe it's the 14 of May…but what does that have to do with Wonderland?"

"Oh dear…We're late. Two days late to be exact." He puts his watch away and starts to walk away.

"Wait…Mr. Ears, please. I still don't understand." She begins, but he whirls around so fast she stops.

"My dear Alice, you will understand in due time; now if you will follow me, I will take you back to Wonderland to meet Queen Adella." He takes her arm and, pulls her along a small path, he mutters to himself as he walks, "We can't take White's hole…that's much too filthy. We'll take the express route."

"Express route? Oh dear…what have I gotten myself into this time." She says to herself, allowing Ears to pull her along by her arm. He stops beside a large rock with a beautiful daisy next to it.

"Come on, Come on, haven't got all day, Marmalade! Open Up I say!" He knocks on the rock hard; it seems to melt into the ground. "Ah that's much better!" He steps on the rock, and sinks into the ground. "Come now, my dear. Mustn't keep Wonderland Waiting!"

"Well…either way, I'm probably dreaming. So what should it matter where I go?" She steps onto the rock with the little brown rabbit and just as she is about to say something, Ears steps off and smiles.

"Home Sweet Home!" He cries joyously. Alice looks around; she didn't see anything different at first. Then before her eyes the woods around her changes and becomes more bright and colorful.

"Oh it's…gorgeous!" Alice says softly, her eyes glowing with wonder. She walks over to one of the large tree's and runs her hand along one of its low hanging branches. A faint memory spills through her mind. "I remember you…if only a little…" She talks softly to Ears before looking at him, "Or was it all just a dream?"

"Ah, my dear, let me give you some advice from a very good friend of mine; You saw it, and if you saw it, then you have seen it…That's logic."

"Yes…I suppose that does make a little sense…"

"Now," Ears says, taking her arm and guiding her along the path, much as a dog would guide its blind master. "You will meet with Queen Adella tomorrow afternoon, so for now, I must insist you stay as my guest. Are you hungry dear?"

"Oh…" She says trying to digest what he was saying, before she could answer his question, her stomach growls loudly.

"That answers that then!" He exclaims. "If you will follow me please, my home is just beyond these tree." Alice nods a bit overwhelmed by all the new sights and smells. As they come into view of his home, she hears the sound of tea whistles and a male voice yelling at the top of his lungs,

"CHANGE PLACES!"

Note From Keri: Haha....that's all I have to say about that!!


	3. Chapter Three: The Hat Maker

Chapter 3: The Hat Maker

Alice was rather taken aback at the sight of a tall man, his hat making him much taller, racing around a large table and sitting back down in a different place. Only after he pours some tea into a cup does he notice the March Hare walking towards him with Alice.

"EARS!!" He exclaims loudly, "Where haave you been? I have been drinking tea all alone for the past hour and a half!"

"Reg, I told you! I had to pick someone up for Queen Adella." Ears throws a crumpet at the man, who catches it and shoves it into his mouth with a smack.

"Oh…yes…And this is the someone?" He gestures at her.

"I Beg your pardon? I am standing in front of you. It's quite rude of you to talk about me as if I were deaf." She says, getting annoyed at the rudeness. The man before her raises a single brow, as if he were surprised she could talk. He looks her up and down and smiles.

"Of course Chèrie, How rude it is to…CHANGE PLACES!!" He yells so suddenly that Alice jumps with fright, she places her hand over her fast pulsing heart. The man however, pushes her along to a different spot, Ears follows, as if it is a perfectly normal thing to do. "Now then, what were we talking about?" He asks her, dipping a saucer into a steaming cup of tea and biting into the fine china.

"Reg, You have met her before…This is Alice…Alice Liddel, the girl from before." Ears says slowly so the green hated man has time to digest each word.

"Alice…Liddel?" His eyes widen ever so slightly. "Well since we've already met, then there is no need for introductions."

Alice looks at him a moment, pondering why he was so surprised at finding out who she was. _If I have met him before…then why don't I remember his name…_ "Excuse me, but I don't remember hearing your name…uhm…sir?" She says, uncertain of what exactly to call the mad man.

"Well really!" He says acting offended, Ears casually sips his own cup of tea, "If we had met before then you ought to know my name."

She suddenly remembers flashes of their meeting, "Actually the first time we met, the names were skipped. Or had you forgotten?" She smiles slyly at him.

"No I had not forgotten, A Hatter never forgets!"

"Then how could I know your name if we were never properly introduced?"

"I haven't the slightest." He places a finger in his ear and wiggles it. Alice, knowing she wasn't going to get anywhere unless she made the first move. So she rises from her seat and holds out her hand to the man.

"Hello, my name is Alice." She smiles cheerfully, like you would to a small child.

He looks at her a moment before taking her hand, what surprises her is how soft and warm his hand was, "Reginald Theophilus the Third, Would you care for a cup of tea?"

"Yes, I would thank you." Reginald hands her a cup filled with hot brown liquid. _Maybe this wont be so bad afterall. _Just as her lips touched the rim, it is gone, ripped out of her hands. Reginald yells for the third time,

"CLEAN CUP, CLEAN CUP, MOVE DOWN MOVE DOWN!!" Again Alice finds herself being pulled and dragged to a different seat. _Perhaps I spoke too soon._


	4. Chapter Four: A Painful Memory

Chapter 4: A Painful Memory

When Alice awoke to a blue bird's song the next morning, it took her several minutes to remember all that had happened and where, exactly, she was.

The room before her, was quite large, the walls a deep calming green (much like the hatter's hat), She turns and looks at a large lamp next to the bed, it hung over her head like a bee might do to a flower. The bed itself melted under her small frame, molding to her body perfectly. A few drawers were on the wall next to a large empty closet. She sits up slightly and notices she is wearing a light blue nightgown, _Ears must have let me borrow it… _

"Well Alice, time to get ready to meet the Queen…I wonder what Mother and Father are doing right now…Hmm…I wonder if there are phones in Wonderland…"

"Talking to yourself is a sure sign of madness you know." A voice says loudly, making her jump and half slide off the bed, she catches herself on the lamp beside her, by wrapping her arms around it, her feet fall off the bed and land on the floor with a thump, she hears Reginald chuckling as he enters the door and see's her like that. Her face turns a light pink as she rights herself as gracefully as she can,

"I beg your pardon? I was not talking to myself!" she says to him defiantly, she puts crosses her arms.

"Oh? Then what, might I ask, were you doing?" He smirks at having trapped her.

"I was…uhm…Merely thinking aloud." She mentally congratulates herself for saying something so quickly. She see's he is still smirking at her, he leans casually against the door frame, a box visible under on arm, his trademark hat tipped slightly to one side. She finds herself staring into his green-brown eyes. He clears his throat, telling her she is staring. She blushes again before saying, "Erm..Good Morning…"

"Morning." He says, the smirk still visible. "I've brought you a dress to wear today. Ears thought it would compliment your personality. What he meant by that, I haven't the slightest." He holds the package out to her, expecting her to go to him to get it.

_Two can play this game. _She keeps her arms crossed, clearly saying she won't be bossed around. His eyebrows raise slightly, like a spoiled child who was just told no, She can't help but giggle lightly at his expression.

"I see…" He says deep in concentration, his brows furrow together, and his tongue is just barely seeable out of the corner of his mouth. After what felt like three minutes he finally moves towards her and places the box on the bed. "Okay, Cricket, you win." His eyes gleam evilly, "For now." He leans slightly closer to her, she feels her heart speed up, he smiles at her, then turns on his heels and dance steps out of the room, closing the door behind him.

"What a peculiar person…"

X.x.X

She looks at herself in the mirror, the dress Reginald had brought to her fit perfectly, hugging her curves in all the right places. She admires the soft pink color of the dress, the length, perfect for her, reaches her ankles and flows outwards just slightly. She smiles at the young woman in the mirror before tying her hair back with a black ribbon, something she did quite often when she was a child. Finally she puts on her simple black heels she came here with, before closing the door and walking down the stairs. In the kitchen she sees a table with lots of delicious looking food on it.

"Alice! I hope you're hungry." Ears welcomes her to the room, his nose twitching in excitement, "Think I made too much…Then again I always over do things dontchaknow!" He pulls her gently towards a seat and places a plate in front of her. He sits next to Alice, eating from his own plate when a certain orange coated hat maker bursts through the door.

"Purple Hipos and Red Horses!" He states simple, sitting across from the blonde. He munches on a piece of toast. "Morning Ears, lovely to see you again Cricket!" He smiles before grapping a cup of tea and downing it, he screeches and grabs for the sugar, pouring a generous amount in his mouth, his tongue hangs out of his mouth, "too hath!", which we can only assume means, Too hot!

Alice bursts into a fit of giggles, but like it always does, curiosity gets to her and she asks, "How many cups of tea have you had this morning, Mr. Theophilus?"

"The Third….But call me Reginald please, Mr. Theophilus is my right glove!" he points to his left glove as he says this, "I have had sixteen cups since getting up. For the record I am so unlike myself when I don't have my morning tea!"

"Oh…and how, may I ask, are you like without your tea?"

"Sleepy, grumpy, boring…etc.." He spreads jam on another piece of toast and eats it.

"Sounds like my mother without her coffee." She laughs.

"Yech…coffee, awful stuff!" Reginald mutters.

The room goes silent. Alice resumes eating, stabbing some egg with her fork and letting the warmth of it burn her throat as she swallows it. The hatter watches her as if she were juggling chainsaws. She nervously pats her lips with a napkin. A coo-coo clock suddenly rings, breaking the silence. Ears looks at it then gets up.

"Well Miss Alice, we should be going, the Queen hates waiting." He says cheerfully, taking her plate and putting it in his sink, along with Reginald's and his. "But…I hope you don't mind if Reg escorts you instead, I have many things to do today."

"Erm…Oh, Not at all. As long as Mr. Theophilus knows the way."

Reginald coughs but he clearly says, "The Third." He looks at her, "Now Cricket, just because you get lost so easily here, doesn't mean we all do." He smiles warmly at her. Alice feels her face heat up, surprised she gets up quickly,

"Ohgood, I'llbewaitingforyououtsidethen!" She nearly heads for the door, nearly bolting out it.

Reg turns to ears, "I don't recall any work needing to be done today."

"Since when have you done work?" Ears chuckles lightly, Reg throws half a sausage at him.

"I do work, I do own a hat shop! Now tell me!"

Ears ear twitches nervously, "Oh there's Loads to do!"

"Like?" Reg looks at Ears suspiciously. He sighs.

"Reg, you know perfectly well what work there is." Reg shrugs and starts to leave when Ears says softly, "Just don't let this end up like last time. Or I really will kill you." The hatter winces at the memory before walking out the door, he sees Alice sitting on a small bench, waiting for him.


	5. Chapter 5: Queen Adella

Chapter 5: Meeting Queen Adella Hipple Florine Gracie the 8th

'Get a grip Alice…you don't even know him!' She thinks to herself. She can hear the high voice of Ears talking quietly, a pause then Reginald's deeper voice as he answers. The sun's warm rays surround her like a blanket, she smiles, closing her eyes. Welcoming it. Reginald walks out after his and Ear's discussion, he pauses when he sees her on the bench. He smiles as he walks over to her.

"Cricket? Sugarcube? Dewdrop? Little Tea-Cup? Wake up." She opens her eyes and stares at him, he stares back.

"What is with all the silly nicknames?" She asks, breaking the silence.

"I like them is all." He extends his hand to her, "Come Cricket, time to go into Wonderland Capitol." She takes his hand hesitantly, 'Why is he always so warm…" she thinks as he pulls her up gently.

"Yes, Let us depart."

X.x.X

As they near the capitol, Alice feels her jaw drop in surprise. This wasn't what she expected…though she didn't know what to expect, this defiantly wasn't it. 'It looks…' she thinks to herself, 'Like England…Only with different people and shops' She notices. In fact it looks so much like her home, she forgot momentarily where she really is, at least until Reginald spoke, "Not what you were expecting was it Cricket?" He gives her a slight nudge with his elbow.

"No, not at all, Mr. Theophilus."

"The third." He coughs out. He winks at her as he extends his arm. "Come, we're on a schedule." She hesitantly wraps her arm around his. He smiles gently before walking down the sidewalk, the hustle and bustle of town folk pushing past them. Alice could see the looks some of the woman gave her, full of hatred and jealousy. She also notices people whispering questions, "Who is she?" "You don't suppose it's HER, do you?" She suddenly finds herself wondering why she is here in the first place. The hatter of course, is oblivious to all of it, or so she thinks.

"Mr. Theophilus, why am I here? It can't be just for a party with the Queen….There must be another reason." She looks up at him, the curiosity seeming to pool from her eyes like a waterfall. He doesn't answer for a moment, finally he looks down into her beautifully blue eyes,

"Miss Liddell, Some questions are better answered by the Queen, in a more private place." His eyes shift around to the stares of the people. Some were even trying to move closer, in the hopes of overhearing. He glares slightly at them, before she can ask anything else, the hat maker takes a sudden turn to the right, down a small alley. Even though it is only around noon, the alley is dark and secluded. Alice, nervously looks around, clutching the Reginald's arm tighter. He winces at her grip before placing his hand over hers, in an effort to calm her, and in an effort for her to release her death grip on his now wrinkling sleeve. "Trust me, Alice." He states simply to her, smiling. He stops suddenly and turns to a door and knocks softly with the old brass knocker. A man in a fuzzy purple suit, with shockingly white bucked teeth and dark sunglasses opens the door.

"Ah…Mister Theophilus the Third…haven't seen you in a while." The man smiles, then see's Alice. "Is this a Miss Liddell?" The hat maker only nods his head. "Good, you're right on time then. Please follow me if you will." Reginald ushers her in, closing the door behind them. Reluctantly, Alice let's go of his arm.

"Go on and follow Squirrel, he won't bite. Go on…I'll be right behind you Cricket." She follows the man named Squirrel through another door and into a brightly lit, though narrow, hallway. They in silence for several minutes, taking several turns through the different hallways. Alice is lost in a matter of seconds. Squirrel suddenly turns around, making Alice nearly run into him. If weren't for Reg grabbing her shoulders at the last second she would have.

"The Queen is right through these doors. Don't go in until White comes." He smiles again as he leaves, his bucked teeth shining brightly. The hall is silent once again.

"Mr. Theophilus…" She begins, but he cuts her off.

"The Third…but call me Reginald, please."

"Mr. Theophilus," She insists, "What is the Queen like?"

"Well…She isn't as bad as the Queen of Hearts, but she also isn't as nice as the Queen of Spades. She is fairer than the King of Clubs though…However she can be crueler than all of them put together." As if on cue, the door opens and out comes a short white man…no a short white rabbit…He brushes some imaginary dust off his plaid red and white vest. While adjusting his small spectacles, he notices Alice and the Hatter. Checking his watch he nods,

"Right on time Reg! Excellent!." His whiskers turn up in a slight, though stressed, smile. Reginald returns the smile, warmly,

"Of course old chap! I'm always on time." He turns to Alice, "You, of course, know Alice, but it seems she has forgotten a great deal about us here at Wonderland." Alice stares as the white rabbit with curiosity. She reaches out her hand and shakes his furry paw.

"Pleasure to meet you…er…again…?" Both the mad man and the rabbit chuckle,

"Not to worry, Cricket. It will all come back to you soon enough." Reg smiles at her, showing off his big teeth.

"Yes, well, The Queen will see you now, Miss Alice."

"Oh very well then…Go on Cricket. I'm afraid I can't go with you." He looks down at her, disappointment riddled on his face. She smiles when she notices the brown freckles spotted along his nose. "Fear not," He goes on "I shall see you soon." He winks at her. She rolls her eyes slightly, but smiles at him, telling him she is joking. The White Rabbit gently ushers her into the room.

X.x.X

'Cinnamon…' Alice thinks to herself, as the sweet smell reaches her nose as she walks in. The room is large with a small fireplace in the corner, tons of candles, all burning brightly, decorate the mantel of it. The most noticeable thing, however, is how everything in the room is painted either pink or red. The ceiling, a dazzling red, is decorated with small pink roses, and vise versa the walls. 'The Queen must really love Pink and Red…' She thinks to herself as White pulls her deeper into the room.

"Ah! Alice my darling girl! I trust you've had a pleasant day?" An elderly woman's voice rings out. Alice turns slightly and see's a large armchair, in it sits a woman, wearing a large crown with many jewels. Her face as round as an apple with laugh lines around her mouth, but a stern, more commanding, look near her eyes. As Alice suspects, her dress is a bright red with white and pink hearts and diamonds on it.

"Of course, Miss." She curtsies, politely at the smiling Queen."

"Excellent!" She looks at the fidgeting White Rabbit, "You may leave, but stay by the door. I will peak with that hat maker later."

"Very good, My Lady." He gives a small bow, nearly making his spectacles fall. He rushes from the room, tripping over the rug and falling out the door. A crash is heard and Reginald's voice saying some nonsense, Alice can't quite make out what though. The Queen chuckles lightly.

"Now, darling, Come sit, we've much to talk about, with such little time to do so." She motions for the young girl to sit on a sofa across her.

"Thank you, your majesty." Alice says simply, smiling a small smile. Not quite sure what else to do, she sits.

"How was your sleeping arrangement last night? You would have been here but the guest room is, unfortunately, preoccupied at the moment."

"Oh no trouble at all, really your Majesty."

"Queen Adella, if you would." Alice nods.

"A pleasure to finally make your acquaintance, Queen Adella." Alice smiles widely, then remembers to tuck one ankle behind the other, just as her mother taught her to. "But, if you would please, Queen Adella, would you tell me exactly why I am here? It certainly cant just be about a dance can it?" The Queen's smile falters for a brief moment. She sighs deeply.

"I thought you would figure it out. You are not stupid…No…But that is good. My darling Alice, you, of course are right. Though there IS a Ball, that I am having tomorrow night. There is another reason I have summoned you here. You see…Wonderland is changing. With change there comes time. For you see time changes just as everything else does. Even in Wonderland time changes."

"Queen Adella, so you're saying, time is changing, so Wonderland is aswell?" Alice asks her, both confused and curious.

"Correct." She replies, looking now at the fireplace, she watches the flames crackle and eat greedily at the blackened wood, "My only heir refuses to rule. He is quite childish. He has been getting worse though, ever since his Darling decided to grow up and leave."

"But what has that got to do with me?" Alice puzzles over possible reasons."

"Honestly! You seemed smarter than this. I should be talking to myself at the rate this conversation is going, though I am not in the habit of doing so…Even if it is the only way to get an intelligent answer around here." Queen Adella murmurs to herself, before realizing she is talking to herself. She turns back to somewhat angry Alice, "You are here because I need help to get my heir to move on, once and for all."

"Then why can't you get someone else to do it? Why does it have to be me? How would I do it? And give me one good reason why I should!"

"You are the only one I will allow to do it, at the dance you silly girl. And you are going to do it, or you will be stuck in Wonderland for the rest of your life."

Alice can feel herself grow faint at the idea of living here forever.

XXX…XXX…XXX

Hah! I guess it's fairly easy to know who her heir is….but still! The first person to review and correctly tell me who you think it is will get a hundred (virtual) cookies ^_^ lol


	6. Chapter 6: Shopping with Reginald

Chapter 6: Shopping with Reginald

Alice, still puzzling over this nods absent mindedly. "White!" The Queen yells loudly, making her nearly leap to her feet in fear. The door opens hurriedly and the Rabbit tumbles inside,

"Y-Yes, Your Majesty??" he stutters, slightly out of breath.

"Send the hat maker in."

"At once, Your Majesty!" He leaps out the door and a few moments later, Reginald enters a careless grin on his face.

"Queen Adella!! How splendid to see you again! Did you cut your hair?" He spies a tea pot on a small coffee table between the Queens chair and the couch where Alice sits. His eyes get big and pleadingly, like a child's face in a candy store. "May I?"

"Help yourself." She waits until after he sits, quite close to Alice, on the couch. A steaming cup of cinnamon smelling tea in his hand, "Now, Mr. Theophilus the Third, the ball is tomorrow night. I suggest you take Alice to the Three Good Fairies Shop to get a lovely dress. I will leave the details to you, think of it as one of your fancy hats." He nods to her, an idea already popping into his head, "Good, then I want you to show her around. Take her to some of the shops or something." The hatter finishes his cup of tea, thinking. He looks at Alice and smiles broadly.

"I believe I know just the place to take her."

"Good. 6:30 tomorrow evening. Do Not Be Late!" She motions for Alice to leave. "My Dear, if you don't mind I would like to speak to him alone." She nods, rising from the couch and exiting, making a small curtsy before closing the door behind her.

x.X.x

'He sure has been in there a while…' Alice, having just spoken to Queen Adella, waits for Mr. Theophilus outside the door, she can just barely hear their mumbling tones. White is fidgeting nervously beside her, he is obviously stressed. "Mr. White Rabbit…Maybe you should take a break. You look awfully nervous and stressed." She says softly to him, he jumps and looks at her, as if he is just now realizing she is there.

"Hmm?? Oh no no no, my dear! I simply can't, I've never had a day off! I don't intend to either, much too much going on." He replies to her. Just as she is to say something else, the door opens and out comes a grim faced Reginald. His hat is off, tucked beneath his arm. The White Rabbit jumps again and rushes into the room with a hurried, "Goodbye." She waits, staring at the deeply thinking hatter.

"Mr. Theophilus? Are you alright?" She asks him gently, placing her hand on his arm.

"…Yes. Just Startled is all….Right." He says, putting his hat firmly on his snow white hair. "Let's be off then. I think we should be off to The Three Good Fairies Shop, they have a lovely selection of dresses. They are wand made and perfectly fit to their customers desire. Then after all the boring shopping, we can go to Belle's shop. Something tells me you'll love it there." He winks at her, but Alice can tell he still isn't happy with something. He holds his arm out, she takes it without hesitation and smiles at him.

"That would be wonderful." She says as they walk down the hallway, ignoring the doors on either side of them. They go out the door at the very end of the hall, it leads to a small lobby with a few chairs and a receptionists desk.

"Have a good day!" The receptionist, a petit brown haired woman, says to them as they exit the building. Alice blinks in the bright sunlight.

"Mr. Theophilus…why did we go in through an alley when there is a perfectly good entrance here?" Alice wonders, trying to figure the mad man out.

"Well…I had to check in with Squirrel on a few things, so it seemed like the better route. He is stationed there after all." Reg replies with a small but distinct smile.

"Oh…I suppose that does make sense." She says after a moment, holding tightly on to the tall man as they cross the busy road and into a small pink and blue shop.

x.X.x

Alice sighs, a tired look in her eyes, they have been shopping for hours, Reginald still arguing with one of the short plump woman, about the color.

"No no no! It MUST be pink! It goes well with her rosy cheeks!" the fairy named Fauna says to him, another woman emerges from the back.

"Here she goes again. I think it should be blue! It should match her eyes." Meriwether, dressed in blue, says to her sister.

"Now ladies, this is not open for debate! Her dress will be purple! And that's final." Reginald says, lightly to the woman.

"Actually…I think it should be silver." Alice buts in, unable to stand the fighting any longer, "It IS my dress after all. I should get a say in what color it is at least." Her head pounds as the beginning of a headache forms. The three people ponder this a moment.

"She's right…she defiantly would look good in silver…" Fauna agrees.

"Silver it is then!!" Reginald nearly woops with happiness that this argument is over.

"What about sleeves? I think the dress shouldn't have any…" The Meriwether says her. Both Reginald and Alice groan.

"Yes, no sleeves…" The two woman look at Reginald and Alice, "Come back in an hour and a half, we should be done by then." She smiles warmly and waves to them as they leave. Alice thoroughly exhausted, walks beside an almost bouncing hatter.

"Glad that's over! Now on to Belle's!" His smile widens.

"Mr. Theophilus…I am rather tired…couldn't we just go back to Ears's place?" Alice pleads. His smile turns to sticking his lower lip out and giving her a puppy dog look that made her heart flitter and flutter.

"B-but Cricket! Give me 10 minutes. If you don't absolutely love it, we'll leave. Promise!" He takes her hand and looks at her, his big green-brown eyes wide and adorable. Alice sighs.

"Alright…Cricket? I am not an insect!" She frowns half-heartedly.

"It's just a nickname." He stops and looks away.

"Why that nickname though?" She pokes his arm, demanding he look at her. He does and her heart flutters again.

"I'll tell you later. But first I insist we go to Belle's!" His smile is wide again and he nearly drags her towards a small shop labeled simply, "Belle's" when they walk in, Alice's eyes open wide and her mouth drops. He had taken her to a bookshop. 'How did he know…?' she closes her mouth quickly and walks in, Reginald lets go of her hand and walks up to the counter, letting her browse. A girl, slightly taller than Alice, walks out of a door carrying a pile of books, she dumps them on the counter and smiles.

"Reg! How wonderful! Looking for anything in particular? Just got a new shipment of books in yesterday." Her voice is light and bubbly, her long brown hair tied back in one long braid.

"Not exactly, just thought I'd bring Alice here. She loves books almost as much as yourself!" He runs over and drags Alice away from a mystery novel and brings her back. "Alice, this is Belle, Belle, Alice and so on." Alice smiles timidly at the girl. She holds out her hand.

"Pleasure to meet you, Belle." She manages to say.

"Pleasure is mine, Miss. Liddell."

"Does everyone know me? First the three woman at the shop say my name like they've known me for years and now you calling me by my last name…what is with this place?" Alice says, her temper getting the best of her. Belle just smiles and nods, Reginald's eyebrows go up in slight surprise.

"Well of course everyone knows, or has heard of you. You're Alice Liddell, the girl who came to Wonderland years ago and changed it, for the better I might add."

"I what?" Alice exclaims, not expecting that at all. Belle only laughs,

"You're the first person from your world to come here and leave. It was all in chaos before you came…then it…hmm how should I put this…reorganized itself, after you left. But it was slow, I suppose it's because you grew up and your mind changed…hmm oh well, not that it really matters I suppose." She smiles cheerfully at the blonde. "Now let's see…you must love fantasy, am I right?" Alice nods absentmindedly; thinking about what Belle told her.

'I wonder…is that why Queen Adella wants me to help her and no one else…' she thinks, as Belle busies herself by getting a couple of books she thinks Alice might like. Reginald looks at her curiously, wondering what she is thinking about. She notices his curious stare and looks at him. Their eyes meet for a brief moment. Alice looks away quickly, feeling the beginnings of a blush creep up to her cheeks. Reg's heart skips a beat; 'When did she start blushing towards me…Well old chap, maybe she likes you! General, she could never like a crazy man like me, besides Adella has plans for her…' Did he think it weird that he refers to himself as General when talking to himself? Not one bit! Before either of them can speak, Belle comes back to the front, carrying a few books.

"There…I think you'll just adore these! They're some of my favorites." Reginald goes to the counter, standing close to Alice, who moves back a little, to pay for them. But Belle holds up her hand, "No charge, they're old and worn from too many readings. Call it a gift." She smiles. "Alice, please come back again. I should love to have tea with you sometime. I know we'll become best of friends." Alice, not having the heart to tell her she wasn't planning on staying that long replies,

"Yes, of course Belle! It was such a pleasure meeting you." Taking the brunettes hand and shaking it warmly, she gathers up the books and smiles. "Have a wonderful day!"

"You too dear!"

"Here, Cricket, let me get those for you." Reginald, not waiting for her to decline, takes the books from her arms and into his own, the streets are still busy with people when they walk out of Belle's shop.

"Oh, erm…Thank you Mr. Theophilus." Alice smiles and walks beside him, they make a quick stop to the fairies shop to pick up her dress. Alice frowns when Reginald doesn't let her see it. When she asks why not he simply replies,

"It's a surprise Cricket!" winking as he does. Alice only sighs and walks with him back to Ears's home.

x.X.x

Alice sits on a lovely blue couch, with one of her new books. However, just as she is to the second chapter, Reginald comes in, with two cups of tea. He plops beside her, setting one of the cups on the 'coffee' table in front of her. "Tea, Cricket?" He asks her, nodding at the cup.

"Oh…Thank you." She places the book on the table and picks up her cup, tasting the sweetly spiced tea. "It's very lovely." She smiles as he sips from his own cup.

"What is this book about?" Picking it up he looks at the first page, the laughs, "Romance? Not the type I'd peg you for Sugarplum." He winks as she blushes, it was beginning to be a habit of hers. She takes it from him,

"I would appreciate, Mister Theophilus, if you would not touch things that don't belong to you. Especially if it is a Lady's property! It isn't at all proper, you know." He merely shrugs, swirling his tea with his pinky finger unknowingly. Alice goes back to reading her book. It was several hours later when Reg realizes she fell asleep. The book slipping to the floor with a soft thud. He sighs, 'Poor little Cricket…She works too hard…' How he knew this, we would find out later, because now dear ones we watch as Reg picks up Alice and carries her to her bed, leaving all her clothes on but her ribbon and shoes, which he takes off her before tucking her into bed. He stares at her, memorizing her beautiful face, rosy red cheeks, full pink lips, big blue eyes that are now closed. And her gorgeous blonde hair, he brushes a lock of it from her face, moving his fingers over her cheek and placing a small kiss on her forehead before leaving the room.


	7. Chapter 7: Swing of Love

Chapter 7: Swing of Love

Alice awakes with a start, her heart pounding. She had been dreaming that she was in a large tea cup, full of steaming brown liquid, somehow during the dream, Reg popped into it. She blushes and tries to forget the rest. However, there are some things best not forgotten. 'It was a lovely dream though…' she thinks, her blush deepening. She looks at her clock and groans. She is wide awake at 5:30 in the morning. 'Might as well dress and go downstairs and make some tea.' She gets up and realizes she is already clothed. '…Why am I still in my clothes from yesterday…' She wracks her brains, the memories flood into her mind; she had fallen asleep on the couch next to Reginald, 'He must have carried me to bed…' Her heart melts at the sweetness of it. Quickly she dresses into clean clothes and leaves the room, 'He disserves some tea made from my secret recipe.' She smiles and goes into the kitchen. Finding the necessary ingredients she boils water and gets out three tea cups and fills them full of tea. She turns around and nearly drops her cup in surprise. There leaning against the doorframe was Reg. He smiles tiredly at her.

"Morning Cricket, I trust you slept well? Is that for me!?" He moves quickly towards her and takes the cup, planting a small kiss on her cheek, "Thank you!" He takes a gulp and his eyes widen. "What did you do to it? It's….It's…." His face is dumbstruck, the tea was marvelous, sweet but not overly sweet, with an edge to it, it tastes like different spices were mixed together in perfect unison, making it one of the best cups of tea he has ever had, and That is saying something. "Cricket…Where did you get this recipe?" His face is very serious, she smiles.

"Oh it's nothing special." She sips at the tea he was supposed to have, "Just one of my own creations. Do you like it?" She asks, knowing by the look on his face that he does.

"Like it? NO, I Love it! However did you make this? It's Astounding! I doubt that anyone could make a more perfect cup! Why, the mountains themselves would fall just to taste this!" He drinks the rest in eagerness. "I simply MUST have the recipe!" Alice shakes her head, much to his disappointment.

"Oh no, I can't give the recipe out! It is my own little secret, and a secret it shall be. Don't give me that pouty look, Mr. Theophilus."

"The Third…" He mutters.

"What are you doing up at this time anyway?" She asks him, leaning against the counter, waiting for his answer.

"Same as you; Couldn't sleep." He drinks his second cup of her tea slower, savoring each drop. She in turn sips at hers.

"Why couldn't you sleep?" She prods.

"A squirrel was chattering…quite loudly outside my window. Nearly impossible to sleep with that racket." He shakes his head, his large hat bouncing with his head. "Why couldn't you sleep, might I ask?"

"Oh…erm…just couldn't." She tries not to blush but fails. Reginald notices and is instantly curious.

"Dreaming about me Cricket?" He smirks, when her blush deepens his eyes widen. "I was only joking." His smirk widens, "But I'll take that as a yes." Waggling his eyebrows he goes to pour himself a third cup, only to find out the teapot is empty. Wimpering he looks at her with big sad, begging eyes. "Cricket….tea…gone…more?" Alice bursts into fits of laughter at his face, then takes his cup.

"Alright. I'll make more. But you can't be here while I make it…go make a hat or something." She shoos the pouting hatter out as she starts to make another, larger, batch up.

x.X.x

'This is bad…' Reginald mutters to himself inside his head after being shooed out of the kitchen by Alice. 'This is really bad…' He starts to pace, wondering how in Tea this had happened. Of course he knew ever since he first saw her that she was somehow different. But the Queen has plans for her! He mustn't let his silly emotions get in the way of the Queen. Oh but that tea….never in all his life had he tasted such delicious tea…he might have…but he isn't remembering if he had or hadn't. Not wanting to give himself a headache he doesn't dwell on it. Sighing he walks outside and to his shed, where he keeps all his necessary items for making hats, with Alice's face and body in mind, he begins to create.

x.X.x

Alice's head is spinning, how had she let him get to her. He even complimented her Tea! Her parents don't even do that! She rests her head in her hands, elbows propped on the table, waiting for water to boil. For some odd reason she wants to remember Wonderland, before it changed, back when she first visited. Vaguely she can remember a wild untamed land. Yet, every time she tries to concentrate on it, it seems to slip through her fingers, like water does. 'Oh well…' She thinks as the tea kettle whistles.

Walking out into the living room, Alice carries a tray of tea and fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, with her secret ingredient. "Mr. Theophilus?" She calls, but much to her dismay, there is no reply. 'Perhaps he is outside…it is such a lovely sunrise…' thinking as she heads out the back door. "Mr. Theophilus? I have some more tea….Where could that mad man have gone…" Noticing a light on in an old building, she walks in, only to find the Hatter doing what he does best, hatting, or in simpler terms, making hats. Smiling to herself she sets the tea tray on a table, Reginald doesn't notice her, so engrossed into his newest creation, a simple blue hat with a black ribbon around it and a brim that spans around it, drooping downwards in a lovely sweep.

"Hmm…no it isn't quite right….something's missing…." He talks aloud. Alice tries to contain her giggles.

"You know, talking to yourself is a sure sign of insanity." She says to him, remember what he had told her the first morning. He jumps, startled at having another person in HIS workshop! Seeing it is only Alice, he relaxes.

"Well you see, Cricket, I am already Insane. So what would it matter if I did things, insane people do." He replies, still looking at his hat.

"I agree…" She says suddenly, walking closer up to him and inspecting his newest hat. "It is missing something…." Muttering to herself, she looks around his trinkets and various ribbons and bows. Normally Reginald would Never allow someone to go through his hat shop, not even Ears! But this woman very much intrigued him. "Ah ha!" She cries out, making his head snap up to look at her. She is holding a beautiful silver tea cup and saucer hat topper, carefully she pins it to the right side of the hat, making the overall effect of the hat glow. "Well…how does that look?" She turns the hat to face him. He stares at it, then at her.

"Miss Liddell….If you had your own hat shop and tea business, I might have had to kill you. Is there anything on earth you can't do?" He takes the newly finished hat and places it daintily on a small hat rack on his workbench.

"Well….I can't fold clothes as perfect as my mother can, and sewing isn't my strongest suit…but other than that…" She smiles, not finishing her sentence. Reginald's eyes are drawn to her beautiful blue eyes, within a matter of seconds both of them realize how close they really are, 'I can almost count his freckles…' she murmurs to herself, her head feeling slightly lightheaded at being so close. Abruptly, Reg turns away.

'…These intense feelings are getting much too hard to ignore…' he sniffs the air lightly, 'Is that cookies I smell?!'

"Is that more tea? And Cookies!" he says aloud, his eyes widening at her, "You didn't have to make cookies…" Alice blushes at the look he is giving her. 'That was too close…' She thinks to herself, trying not to look at him.

"I was planning on making some for you and Ears, as a thank you for letting me stay here." She smiles as she pours two cups of tea, and offers him the plate of cookies. He takes his cup and a cookie, biting into the cookie hungrily, letting the delicious taste of the still warm cookie cover his senses, his eyes getting a dreamy look in them.

"This is fantastic! Whoever taught you how to cook? I must meet her!" for some reason the chocolate chip cookie had something more in it…

"My Mother tried to teach me, but she said I was hopeless, so eventually I learned on my own. I like experimenting with different combinations. The cookies and tea are from my own secret recipes." She laughs at his expression of amazement. 'She has definitely grown since the last time we met…I wonder if she has been eating any mushro…Quiet Reg old chap!' the man argues with himself.

"Should you ever need a test subject, I'd be willing to lend you my taste buds." He grins at her, leaning against his work desk as he finishes off the cookie, savoring the taste. Alice grins back, walking towards the door.

"I'll keep that in mind." She gives a small wave before walking out the door, leaving the pot and plate for Reginald. Instead of walking after her, he looks back down at the hat they created, 'Together…' he thinks, then shakes his head, 'The Queen has her plans…though I wish it was someone else…' he mutters, yet, he cant help but smile at the hat again.

x.X.x

Alice makes a small gasping sound when Reginald walks into the bathroom. She was just getting out of the shower, a towel wrapped firmly around her body, when Reg walks in, forgetting to knock. "MR. THEOPHILUS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" She screeches, Reginald, who had been lost in thought, looks up at her. Noticing her toweled frame, he immediately blushes and flees from the room, his heart thumping at dangerous speeds. Only when she walks out, clothed and red-faced does he come out of the coat closet, where he hid himself.

"Cricket…I-" He begins, but she cuts him off.

"Y-You!" She lets out a frustrated noise, "Don't you have the decency to knock?" She huffs out, her face red with anger.

"I-..er…what I mean to say is…I was thinking about the chipmunk outside my bedroom window, he has joined forces with that terrible squirrel, they throw acorns at me when I open my window, I was thinking about throwing a pie at them, a man needs to defend himself you know! So I was thinking about that when I went into the bathroom, I didn't realize that you were in there…If I had I would have never gone in! Well…I would have had to eventually but not with you in there and furthermore…" He starts to go on, when he looks at Alice. She is laughing. "I beg your pardon…but I don't see anything funny…" Yet Alice continues to laugh at the absurdity of what he said. When she catches her breath she replies,

"Sorry...but a chipmunk, really? Acorns and Pie…You certainly have an interesting imagination." She smiles and walks past him, still chuckling.

'Imagination huh…I didn't imagine the chipmunk….Did I?' Suddenly worried, he quickly races to his room to look out his window, only to be hit by an acorn right on his very large and freckled nose. Both the chipmunk and squirrel squeak with laughter as the annoyed hat maker slams his window shut again.

x.X.x

"Ears, sir, I do have a question or two." Alice, sitting beside Ears, a cup of tea in both their hands (or paws in his case), turns to Ears.

"About what dear?" He asks her, hardly looking up from his tea. 'Reg was right…this tea is lovely…'

"It's about Unbirthday's…I can understand why one would celebrate them, but why don't you celebrate Birthday's as well?" Alice spent the last several minutes thinking over birthday's and unbirthdays.

"Birthdays are such a your world thing. We couldn't possibly celebrate something people from your world celebrated. And besides, haven't you ever noticed how no one hardly grows older here? It is because of unbirthdays, as long as you celebrate them you never get a day older." He seems unfazed by the question, as if it were a completely normal tea-time conversation topic.

"So because I still celebrate my birthday, here in Wonderland, that means I grow older?" Alice's eyebrows knit together, they always did when she was thinking.

"Yes, until you stop celebrating them you will continue to get older…I'm surprised you didn't know that….No matter, it is a common mistake I'd suppose…" He looks into his empty tea cup. "But for the moment we are out of tea….and I would love another cookie!" His eyes plead like Reg's does when he wants something. Smiling Alice passes the tray of cookies and pours him another cup of tea, as Reg walks in, clothed in his usual attire.

"Great Hippos I need a cup of tea!" He exclaims, pouring himself a cup and sipping it. "We have a few hours yet before Cricket should get ready, what would you like to do?" He is staring right at her, his eyes dancing in the light from the window.

"Before I get ready? Are you not coming?" She asks, ignoring his question.

"I am, but I would assume it takes you longer to get ready than I." He winks, "After all, girls take such a dreadfully long time getting ready."

"Not all girls do." She argues.

"True. I was thinking a walk in the sun would be fun." He says, completely changing topics.

"Are you sure that is a good Idea Reg." Ears pipes up, looking at Reginald with a look that clearly says 'Don't be a fool, you know what Queen Adella is up to. Don't get your silly heart broken.' The mad man only shrugs.

"It is a beautiful day…perhaps a walk would be good." Alice smiles at him, making his heart skip several beats. "Let me get on some proper shoes." She says, walking out of the room, her pale blue slippers hardly making a sound as she leaves the room. An awkward silence fills where she left.

"Reg…" the brown Hare begins to warn him.

"Ears don't. I know what I'm doing. Alice means nothing to me; I am only doing what Queen Adella told me. To make sure she is happy." He says it with such unfeeling even he believed what he said. "Besides she is the same as last time, a little girl who is rude, self-centered, annoying, needs a hair-cut, and is much too curious for her own good." He knew he was being very unfair and rude himself.

"If you say so Reg." the reply came, somewhat sadly.

Neither one knows that Alice is outside the door, listening to the conversation, she left her tea on the table and wanted to finish it before they left. 'Is that how…' She walks upstairs, forgetting her tea. 'He's been playing you Alice.' A voice in the back of her head tells her, 'But…he was so sincere and caring earlier this morning….' She argues, 'He is a player, you heard the people yesterday.' She did in fact hear whispering while they were getting her dress, such things like, "Another notch in his belt eh?" and "Wonder what happened to Janice, Lilly, Delilah, and Mary-Ann." She can feel herself getting close to tears. 'Stop it Alice…It's not like this hasn't happened before…' She forces herself to get a grip. 'Calm down and put on your shoes…' She does and walks outside, not waiting for Reginald.

Several moments later the blonde woman finds herself walking aimlessly outside, fighting back tears. As if by accident she comes across an old oak tree with a swing hanging from one of its large limps. Alice gasps at its beauty, the swing's ropes are covered in vines, where orange roses bloom, 'Such an unusual color…' She finds herself thinking as she sits daintily on it. The swing rocks slightly, moving with the slight breeze.

"Alice….Why are you crying?" A familiar voice rings out, Alice jumps out of the swing, as if she was caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Reginald is standing behind her, a look of utter confusion on his face. "Alice…" He says again when she does not respond.

"Don't…" She says to him, her voice shaking as she tries to regain control over her tears. "Don't talk to me." His expression goes from confused to hurt in a matter of two seconds.

"Alice…What's wrong? What did I do?" He walks closer to her, his hands taking hers, but she only jerks them away.

"I am not rude…and not in the least am I self-centered. Annoying? Your one to talk! And You shouldn't say personal remarks about someone…especially if you think they can't hear you." She knows she should stop and collect herself, but she doesn't stop, "And by the way, while I'm at it, who's Janice, and Lilly, and Delilah, and Mary-Ann!" She is yelling despite herself. "You are nothing but a lowly player who cares nothing for a woman's feelings just as long as you get what you want!" She stops, her tears replaced with anger. It radiates off her, slapping him in the face at each word. He, Reginald Thephilus the Third, is stunned into silence, his mouth hanging open in surprise. "You were being so kind to me earlier…" she begins again, softer, "Do you always show your true colors when you think I can't hear you?" She is crying again, which snaps Reg out of his surprise. Hesitantly he takes her hands again, she doesn't pull away this time, yet just before his hand can close around hers, her knees give out and she crumples in a heap on the soft grass, in an attempt to catch her, Reg grabs her waist, but only succeeds in falling down with her, his head landing in her lap.

'I've heard of girls falling for me, but this is simply ridicules!' He thinks, as she sniffles and glares at him.

"Well?" She snaps at him, her anger still clear upon her face. He clears his throat,

"Yes?" He asks, not quite sure of what she wants, he rights himself and sits in front of her, his face in hurt once more.

"Who is Jance and Lilly and Delilah and Mary-Ann?" She asks, noticing his wincing at the last name.

"Oh…" He mutters, "It isn't important. Why do you care, Alice?"

"Alice? What about that nickname of yours, Grasshopper…no that wasn't it…it was Cricket." He shrugs his shoulders lightly. When she only stares at him, he sighs and crosses his long legs.

"Janice and Delilah were twins I…uh…knew…quite well." He murmurs, "I met Delilah first." He adds, as if that could help his case. "Alice, I will admit, I have been with numerous girls, but none of them were really serious."

"And Mary-Ann?" She says to him, "Why do you wince at her name and not the others?" She wonders,

"M-Mary-Ann is…was…different." His face screws up in frustration, "She loved me…That's all you need to know about her…" He says, a finalizing tone in his voice. Alice goes quiet, in a way she understands what he is saying, but in another way the whole feeling is completely alien to her, unknowing how horrible the effects can be. But she drops the subject. He suddenly reaches over and hands her his green and blue handkerchief. "For your tears, Cricket." He smiles slightly. Forgetting she is mad at him, she takes it and wipes her eyes.

"Thank you…But that does remind me…Why did you say those things about me…did you really mean them, Reginald?" She prods, not realizing she said his name. Of course he is too distracted to notice either.

"I never meant them…please don't think that I do….It is just…" his head searches for the right word, "…Complicated." He finishes.

"I…See." She says, flicking a blade of grass from her dress, thinking, she finds herself staring past Reg and at the swing again. Reg notices.

"This is the only tree those retched squirrels let me have…I built it. The swing that is. Lovely isn't it?" He smiles, and rises to his feet, pulling Alice up with him, "Come swing." He guides her over to the swing, just as she is going to sit, he sits first. "Push me please?" He pleads, giving her his cutest puppy face. Despite her best attempts, she laughs and gives in to his childish ways. Just as she is about to push the swing forward, she is thrust through the air, tumbling into his lap, his arm grips her as he leans down, as if by some force of nature beyond their control, she wraps her arms around his neck and gasps as his lips touch hers in a small, but loving kiss.


	8. Chapter 8: To The Ball

**Chapter 8 To the Ball**

"Reg…" Alice's voice sounds far away to Reginald. Which isn't surprising considering he is on cloud nine right now, he marvels at her angelic voice, not realizing she says his name again. He looks up at her, their eyes meeting,

"Yes?" he asks the blonde in his arms. They both hear a loud coughing sound. Alice jumps up and out of the man's arms and stares past him at Ears.

"Alice, you should go and get ready, the ball will begin soon." He is smiling, but Alice senses disappointment and slight anger beneath his eyes. But she only nods and smiles at Reg before walking out of sight. 'It wouldn't be lady like to spy…but on the other hand…they're keeping something from me.' She argues with herself.

"Ears…" Reginald pulls out a cup of tea from his sleeve, "Tea?" He asks.

"Reg, you're going to get your fool of a heart broken. Queen Adella would be very angry if she found out about this. Alice is already taken...The first moment she walked into Wonderland her fate was sealed. You know that, I know that…The whole of Wonderland knows it. Why do you insist on trying to change that?" Ear's is trying desperately to stay calm, but he is scared. He doesn't want to lose his best friend to the Queens temper, he heard it is hundreds times worse than the Queen of Heart's temper.

"She won't like it you know…We all know she'll refuse." Reg whispers, his usually hyper activity gone, he is strangely serious. "What does she know in any case? She can't control how other people live." His hands are balled into fists and he is shaking, making the whole swing shake with him. Ears sighs heavily.

"I knew I shouldn't have let you talk me into letting you go instead. I never knew I'd say this…but you're in love. You've got it bad too." Ears crosses over to the swing and places his paw on Reg's shoulder, "You need to forget about her. Go find someone else, someone that you're actually allowed to be with." It's quiet for a moment, then Reginald slowly gets to his feet and walks away, not giving Ear's a second glance.

x.X.x

Alice's heart races in her breast as she closes the door to her room. 'Promised to?' She thinks to herself, she sighs and puts it from her mind, for now. She takes a deep breath and picks up the box on her bed. 'I don't feel much like dancing…' her eyes widen as she opens the box to reveal a beautiful pale blue dress, folded neatly inside. Her hands seek the material and is surprised to find it soft and smooth, Alice takes it out and holds it to her, the length is perfect, down to her feet, long enough to cover her ankles but short enough to not drag on the floor. Forgetting her comment, she strips to her knickers and, with shaking hands, pulls the dress on. It fits perfectly, hugging her delicate frame as if it were made to fit her and only her. The pale blue design is so detailed it is like looking at an artwork made by the famous Brianna Garcia. She looks at her hair, _Not quite right, I'm afraid…_She pulls it up and holds it there, staring at her reflection, _Perhaps if I curl it a little…I wonder if Ears has a Curling Iron…_She laughs at the images she gets when she realizes how funny it would be to see Ears curling his fur. _Perhaps I should go and ask him where I can find one._ She decides and walks out of her room, careful to not let her dress drag she walks down the stairs to see Ears sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of tea, Reginald nowhere in sight.

"Ears?" She says waving her hand. He looks up and his whiskers turn up into a large smile at her dress.

"Alice!! You look lovely dontchaknow!" He hops down from his chair and speeds over to her, feeling the soft material. "That madman sure designed it perfectly!" He exclaims, then notices her hair, "That doesn't look right…what you need is more curls." He pulls her to a chair. "I know just the thing, wait right here!" Leaving the room Alice smiles at his enthusiasm.

"I suppose I should be happy…I do love dancing…I wonder who is taking me there, I can't picture Ears in a suit, and Reginald would probably wear something too extravagant for my taste." She ponders over this until a large squirrel climbs up onto the table, to stare at her. She blinks a few times, _Is that squirrel actually there…and purple?_ She asks herself, deciding to acknowledge it she says quietly, "Good day sir. And who might you be?"

"Pennywhistle Miss. Pennywhistle Groundhopper, at your service." His teeth reveal as he smiles widely. "You must be Miss Liddell from above Wonderland. A friend of mine speaks fondly of you."

_One can only guess who that might be…_She thinks, she had become used to all the strange people and creatures that she didn't really think anything of talking to a purple squirrel. "Hello Pennywhistle, what brings you to the kitchen?" She asks him. He replies with a high squeaky voice,

"I heard your tea was absolutely marvelous! Would it be rude of me to ask for some?" His face is eager and she smiles at him.

"No sir, it wouldn't." With that she rises and goes to the teapot, heating up water and mixing together ingredients to create her special recipe. At that time, Ears walks in with a large metal spring with a handle.

"Pennywhistle! How good to see you again! I see you've met Alice. Two sugars please."He says, turning to Alice as she picks up a third cup for the brown hare. They sip their tea in silence, with an occasional moan of delight from Pennywhistle.

"Well Alice." Ears says, breaking the silence, "We should get your hair curled." He picks the metal object up again and puts it on the stove top, making the metal hot.

"That's strange…" She murmurs, "Are you going to wrap my hair around that?" She stands and stares at him.

"Why yess Miss Liddell, it's the only way to curl hair properly!" He is somewhat angered at her untrusting manner. "Surely you aren't afraid I'd burn you…"

"Well…no…and yes…Somewhat…It's a very queer device you know…I've never seen one before, so I am a bit…concerned to have it near to my skin. In my world, we use curling irons; they're much safer to my thinking." Ears snorts and tells her to sit.

"I won't burn you, I promise, I am very good at this. Have to be, Reg likes his hair curled and he can never reach the back of it without help." His light voice turns into a chuckle; both the squirrel and Alice add their higher voices to the laughter.

X.x.X

Alice stares at her reflection, Ears was right, her hair was perfectly curled, more so than it would be if she had done it with her own device. The delicate curls frame her face, making her rosy cheeks and deep blue eyes pop with beauty. _I wonder where Reginald has gone off to…_ she wonders not having seen him since the incident near the swing. Smoothing out the dress she pulls out a small box she found inside the dress box. _I wonder what this is… _She opens it, thinking someone may have put it in by mistake. She gasps as the lid reveals the most beautiful necklace and earrings she's ever seen. A light blue chain, dangles with solid green vine like structures with silver leaves and beautiful white pearls delicately placed by a careful hand, the earrings matched, dangling somewhat low with the same pattern, a single pearl placed in each center. Both match her pale blue dress perfectly, as if they were made for each other. _Reginald…_ she wonders, thinking nothing of saying his name to herself. She searches the box carefully; there on the very bottom is a note with elegant handwriting saying:

To Alice,

Darling, don't fret, you'll look lovely.

-Reginald Theophilus III

Her giggle echoes through her room as she looks at his signature. _He never forgets the third…_ She smiles. _Why does it seem like I've known you my whole life? _She asks herself, expecting no answer. She admires her new jewelry as she puts it on, smiling to herself.

"Miss Alice?" A voice calls from behind her door. Ears raps on her door with his paw, "It's almost time to go."

"Thank you Ears." She says, gathering her skirts and heading to the door, _This is it…_ Alice thinks, opening the door and descending down the staircase.

X.x.X

Reginald fidgets with his tie nervously. _Captain! Now is no need to be nervous…just act normal…wait…normal?…oooo SHINY!...FOCUS! THAT IS NOT NORMAL! _ He fights with himself, _Calm do…dow….ddd…_Reginald Theophilus the Third's jaw drops as he looks up at the most beautiful sight he has ever seen, she gracefully walks down the stairs, her face down, _Oh my…is that a blush? _His mind is so focused on how adorable her blush is, he doesn't hear what she says, he coughs loudly and opens his mouth, no sound comes out. Alice giggles and his heart melts. "Er…Yes well…Shall we?" He offers his arm, she takes it hesitantly and waves to Ears, who looks at his friend suspiciously. Ears knows he should stop his friend from getting too deep in, but at the same time he doesn't want to hurt his friend more than he already has. He sighs and follows them outside, figuring he had better follow closely. He follows the two outside, buttoning his gold buttons carefully. They were soon far ahead of the short-legged hare.

Alice, getting slightly nervous, twiddles her thumbs, having let go of the mad man's arm. He doesn't seem to mind, in fact Reginald is in heaven, here he was escorting a beautiful girl to a dance where he will dance and woo her. _Dancing! Music! I really should have worn something more…sparkles perhaps would have done better. _His excitement suddenly dies when he remember one thing, one very important thing. Queen Adella's Son. His usually very happy and annoying outlook turns bleak and grey. Poor Reginald had forgotten all about his assignment. _Perhaps she's forgotten! Yes…no she couldn't have, it was only yesterday when she told me what to do…_His mind goes back to the day in the Queens room, after Alice left.

Flashback

"_Now Reginald…" The Queen spoke, stroking his fine gray hair as she did, "I know your feelings for her, and I know it must be hard." Her voice is forced sympathy, "You mustn't get too involved, she is my property, or have you forgotten?" Her face turned up into a smile. "Come now Reginald, you know my plan."_

"_Yes my Queen. I understand the plan." His face was empty of emotion, so unlike the man he usually is with Alice. He sipped his tea, thinking._

_ "Good. And remember our little deal." She sneered as his face betrayed his sadness when she mentioned their deal. "You may leave." He got to the door before she said, "Oh and one more thing, if she expresses any love for you, consider our deal terminated. If I were you, I'd break her now." _

_  
_End flashback

Reginald shakes his head at the memory. How he hated his Queen. She was worse than a hundred purple squirrels. Alice notices his head shake.

"Re…Mr. Theophilus? Are you alright?" She reaches her hand out and touches his shoulder softly; he flinches away from her hand and instead smiles his goofy smile.

"I'm peachy…speaking of peaches have you ever tried peach tea? It's quite lovely and goes well with Ears's scones!" His demeanor is back to normal, or as normal as any man as mad as he.

"Peach tea? No I don't believe I have…" He goes on about different kinds of tea as Alice's mind wanders to why he looked so sad; it made her almost want to hold him, almost. '_He is quite kind…and he's always so warm. But he is completely mad'! _She argues with herself yet again.

_'No I'll enjoy my time with her as best I can.' _Reginald says to himself as he talks to her, he smiles and wraps her arm around his, she looks up, startled at his touch, but lets him, after all…what was the harm?

* * *

Author Note:

Ugh...I dont like this chapter __ I tried rewriting it several times too...blaaahhh

Anyway, Hope this keeps you all entertained for a while. earrings and necklace http:// www. wishspecial events .com/blog/wp-conten t/uploads/2009 /08/adorn-brides-pea http:// www. /acatalog /_ (TAKE OUT SPACES)

Reginald and Ears belongs to Brianna Garcia

Rest belongs to Disney

earrings and necklace . /acatalog/_


	9. Chapter 9 Crowing Boys and Stolen Kisses

**Chapter 9 Crowing Boy and Stolen Kisses**

The merry trio arrived at the castle a short time later, the trip punctuated by Reginald's talk of teas and Ears's protests at how fast they had been walking. The Castle had been decorated all in white and red with an occasional diamond, club, heart or spade on the banners and flags.

"Mr. Theophilus," asked Alice as he took a breath from all his talking, "why the card theme? They can't be that important can they?"

Reginald stopped and looked at Alice, an amused look on his face as he quietly drew her closer and whispered in her ear, "Well, Miss Alice, there are five kingdoms in Wonderland: Diamond, Club, Heart and Spade. Each is ruled by a Queen and is given their name as Queen (of Diamond or Club or Heart or Spade) of that suite. The fifth kingdom is the Wonderland Capitol, which is where we are, and it is ruled by the Supreme Queen, her Majesty Queen Adella. She handles all cases brought to her. And since the fall of the Queen of Hearts, she rules there as well as here, until the next Royal has come of age. Generally the kingdoms are ruled by females, but the next Royal for the Hearts is Iracebeth's only child, a boy by the name of Stayne, but he is still underage and will be for a few more years. It would seem that all the Queens are here. But that is expected as Queen Adella always has the best dances!" He announced the last part loudly as they passed a few guards, who eyed them suspiciously.

As they entered the main hall, the decorations were everywhere and, in Alice's opinion, there were far too many to the point where it was starting to give her a slight headache.

The sound of music echoed all around them. Reginald smiled broadly and took Alice's hand, nearly dragging her rest of the way into the main dancing area, where he whirled her around closely before launching into a fast waltz, speeding around other dancers as the music picked up tempo. A few dancers scatter as he spun her around causing her merry laughter to ring all around the room. Reginald's laugh joined hers as the music finally stopped and they walked back over to where Ears was seated. He leveled a disapproving look at his friend, but Reginald merely shook his head and smiled.

Ears rubbed his temples with his furred fingers, the beginnings of a headache forming. Reginald smiled even wider when Alice's hand brushed his on the table as she reached for her glass of water. But, the smile was short lived for his brow scrunched up a moment later when the music stopped and a trumpet bleated out the royal fanfare.

At the top of a long staircase emerged Queen Adella. Her dress was very bright red, but on it, instead of pink, were black spades and clubs. Her hair was piled up very high and was decorated with a very large crown that sparkled in the light. Her face was powdered white and her brows were drawn in brown with bright red eye shadow and lips completing her theme. She descended the staircase, smiling widely. When she reached the bottom, she regally looked around her and said, "Resume the music."

The music resumed playing once again as Queen Adella walked over to the table that Alice and her friends were seated at. "Alice! How wondrous to see you," she purred as she took Alice's arm and led her away. "You will be sitting at the high table with the other queens tonight my dear. My son will be along soon, he is still getting ready."

"Umm, your majesty, I do have a question," asked Alice boldly. "I am not going to be here long, am I? You see, I feel that I have been away from home for too long now, and I do wish to go home, so is there any way quickly to help you with your problem?"

Alice tried to make herself seem confident but when Queen Adella looked at her, she couldn't help but notice that a twinge of annoyance had crept into the royal woman's eyes. "Oh no, my dear! Mustn't rush these things you know. Isn't good at all. No you will stay here."

Before Alice could say another word, she was whisked to the high table and Queen Adella sits herself down while conversing with another woman with a large diamond patterned crown. Alice frowned, sat down in her designated chair and stared out towards the table she previously had been seated at. She immediately noticed that Reginald looked depressed and that Ears was trying his best to cheer his old friend up. Alice frowned harder and looked down to try and squish the flush of guilt at having been forced to leave her friends.

With a sigh, she looked out on the dance floor and sees several Wonderlandians dancing, Belle being one of them. She looked incredibly happy as she whirled about the floor in the arms of a tall man with gorgeous brown hair, neatly tied in a ponytail to keep it out of his eyes. There were several other beautiful women, all of whom Alice noticed had an air of power, but one couple in particular caught her eye. Mostly it was the woman's hair; for she was a redheaded dressed in a sea green gown. Her dance partner was a black haired man that gazed down at her as if she were the only girl in the world that truly mattered.

Alice sighed again, tearing her eyes away from the dance floor. _It would be nice to have something like what they have… _Not meaning to, her eyes moved over to Mr. Theophilus, who happened to also be looking over at her. She smiled and he smiled back, and she started to get up when Queen Adella looked over at her.

"Alice, my son is here. Come I want you to dance with him," said Queen Adella as she gracefully got to her feet and promptly walked towards the staircase, where a very young looking man with reddish brown hair stood near the shadows. It was easy to read the boredom and the desire to be far, far away on his face. Sadly, Alice can't help but agree with him. To top it off, he looked very uncomfortable in his suit, as if he wasn't used to being dressed up.

"Ah, Peter!" Adella said loudly, embracing her son. Peter was slightly surprised at her action and didn't move to hug her back. "Peter, this is the woman I was telling you about. Alice this is my son." She nudged Peter; he reluctantly moved forward to kiss Alice's hand.

"Nice to meet you." He said simply.

Alice countered with, "Likewise." She knew she was being slightly rude, but as of that moment she was sick of being there.

"Peter!" The Queen stared at her son, anger burning in her eyes like hot coals. To avoid what he knew was coming next Peter quickly took Alice's arm and proceeded to dance with her. Alice stumbled, not expecting the abrupt dance. Peter stares at her, his expression less than happy.

"Don't look too excited to dance with me," she muttered sarcastically.

Peter blinked, taken aback by her comment. "Sorry. It's just…you're not Wendy."

Alice suddenly realized that her dance partner really was like a child, pouting and saying who she wasn't.

"No I'm not Wendy. I'm Alice. And I don't want to be here either." She looked over his shoulder at Reginald and sees that he looked even more depressed. Peter turned them to look at whom she was staring at.

"The mad man? You'd rather be with him, just like I'd rather be with Wendy. Never have I hated my mother more than today…I mean it's not that I don't like you…I don't even know you, and you're very pretty…it's just that…well…Ughh! I hate arranged marriages." He huffed unhappily and looked at Alice, who by that time had stopped dancing. She stared back at him, her eyes going from shock, to confusion and finally to anger in a matter of seconds.

"Whaat?" She hissed furiously.

"….Y-you didn't know?" Peter stuttered. With one fluid motion, Alice moved away from him and bolted out toward the doors, leaving Peter looking frantically at his mother. She was glaring back wrathfully; he knew it was only a matter of time before she began to spit out nails and venom. Peter ran after Alice, but neither Peter nor the Queen saw the hat maker quietly slip out a side door.

X.x.X

_Why are you running, Alice? _Alice asked herself, her breath coming out in short gasps. She paused long enough to turn to look behind her and notice that the castle was further away than she first thought. She was already near the river, close to Ears's home. She quickly ran and headed right toward a bunch of rose bushes, the roses long dead and all that remain are the thorns. They grasped tightly at her arms and dress, as if trying to slow her down. _Why do I always run away…Why…_

Tears course freely down her cheeks, making her gasp in surprise. She wiped them away harshly, but only succeeded in smearing the make-up around her eyes. For a moment she considered wandering around Wonderland until she found…_What do I want to find? _She asked herself suddenly, and the realization that she didn't know what she was doing anymore frightened her. Her feet dragged her towards the slowly churning water of the river.

_I wonder…if I were to go in…would anyone help me out? _

She moved closer to the water's edge but stops just short of the bank when her legs give out and she crumples to the soft earth, tears once again dripping down her cheeks. It is there that her quiet sobs conveniently attract the attention of a man who had looking for her; however, instead of running up to her and asking if she was alright, he refrained since he already knew what his answer would be. Instead he casually walked over to her, and plopped down on the earth next to her. He didn't glance her way; instead he opened his mouth to say a witty comment to make her smile. Alice, in no mood for hearing witty banter, turned to him and hugged him tightly, grasping his shoulders securely, her quiet sobs gaining volume.

Whatever he had been going to say, well actually whatever he had been thinking at that exact moment left him, his mind went completely blank. But, so as not to look stupid, he wrapped his arms cautiously around her, allowing her to cry herself out. Reginald looked down, her face may have been hidden from his eyes, but he can see that her dress is dirty and has a few rips from where the tree branches tore at her. Her arms are covered in scratches from the dead rose bushes and she is shivering from the slight breeze the winds bring. He looked up and noticed the clouds slowly sailing by like silent ships in the sky.

"Alice…." He whispered sweetly in her ears while holding her tightly in order to comfort her. Her sobs slowly turn to quiet sniffles and she finally looked up at him, her bright blue eyes rimmed with red from crying. Her makeup had run slowly down with her tears, notably the mascara had pooled below her eyes and dribbled down her cheeks. He took off his brilliant white gloves and wiped her face clean with them, not caring how dirty it made them.

"R-Reginald …" Alice whispered, slightly surprised at his action. She turned her head away, slightly ashamed that he's seen her crying. _How lovely…this is most indecent of me…sitting here in the dirt, crying over something so stupid…_Just as she started to get up, her face only slightly red now, Reginald stopped her and hugged her close again.

He softly whispered a few words, words that had the power to make her heart skip a beat then quicken in pace. "Alice…you shouldn't cry darling…one as beautiful as you should never cry…it should be against the law, a felony even, to make you cry…" He moved away and looked at her, his lips turning up into a dazzling smile.

Alice could only stare until she finds her voice again. "You don't really mean that…I mean you're just trying to make me feel better aren't you?" She turned her head away from his gaze again, opting instead to look out towards the river. She felt his hand slip under her chin and move her face up until her shining eyes were staring into his. She didn't move from his gentle grip.

"Cricket…for a smart girl you can be quite dim at times…"

She stared at him, confused for a moment, then her stare steadily transformed into a glare that even the most horrid of villains would cower in terror of. Reginald, on the other hand, merely smiled again. "Excuse me?" she snapped unhappily, "I am not dim! Not in the least! I do believe it is _You_ who is the dim one!"

Reginald didn't say anything, the smile never once leaving his face. Instead he rose to his feet, dragging our startled heroin to her feet abruptly. He stared down into her eyes in such a way that his eyes fill her vision and hypnotized her.

_His bright beautiful green eyes…they're so…so…brilliant…I can even see the orange flecks around his pupil… _

Every horrible insult she had been thinking of saying to him, practically flew out of her head. She, instead, just continued to stare at his eyes. She wanted desperately to move closer to him, to feel his arms around her, to feel his warm breath on the back of her neck while he held her and her eyes must have given away what she wanted, because at that same moment he let go of her and wrapped his longs arms around her body and pulled her to him, holding her body firmly against his. She didn't struggle or resist him, not even a little. She merely rested her head against his shoulder, close to his neck and inhaled his scent quietly. _He smells so good…like sweet tea and lemons. He smells of home…of love…wait…Is there even a scent for love? Shut up Alice! Pay Attention! _She scolded herself, trying not to over think the situation. His body was so warm and soft, she pushed against him, trying to be closer to him, but she only managed to move them back a few inches, she blushed wildly when she heard his soft chuckle.

Reginald, on the other hand, struggled with his breathing and tried to calm it. He silently cursed his heart for beating so fast and loud, surely she could hear it. But, despite his fears, he felt her relax into him and he felt his lips turn up into a truly happy smile as he held the girl he had felt an undying affection for many years now. Since she first stepped foot into Wonderland he knew she would change everything, and he adored her. Sure some of her changes were crazy and weird, but he didn't care, he enjoyed being in her fantasies and being in her life. He didn't care anymore of the outcome, of what he was doing, or who was watching, all he wanted right then was to hold her closer and to kiss her breathless, and that is just what he did.

Alice mourned the loss of his body when he pulls away, but her mourning turned to complete shock and excitement when he pulled her chin up to look at him, and she knew exactly what was coming after that. He slowly leaned in towards her, expecting her to turn away, but she didn't. In fact, she met him more than halfway; his heart stopped when their lips touched, a very brief kiss that sent electricity screaming down their spines and back up. His lips crashed on hers again; with so much passion and love that Alice had to grip his shoulders just to stay standing.

The pain was too much, Reginald drew back gasping in some much needed gulps of air; they'd been kissing for so long they hadn't realized that their bodies were screaming from the lack of oxygen. Unable to resist he kisses her again, Reginald opened his mouth just slightly, and let his tongue roll across her bottom lip, desperately seeking entrance. She knew she shouldn't be giving it, but she did, her mouth opened and allowed their tongues to mingle and meet. _He tastes so…unbelievably delicious. _She thought just as he thought the same about her.

But the lovely couple was not alone. In the shadows, Peter Pan pulled back a tree branch just in time to hear Reginald call Alice dim. In fact, he saw entire the scene play out before his eyes, and jealousy radiated off his skin. He was jealous of the love that Alice and the Mad Man seemed to glow with and just thinking about how happy they were together triggered a wave of despair. He missed Wendy terribly and wished with all his heart and on every star in the night sky that they would be together again.

Queen Adella padded up behind her son and mistook his sadness for Alice, not Wendy. She pulled him out of the way and looked at the place where his eyes had been glued. Upon seeing her chosen daughter in law and the hatter, her eyes glowed red with hatred and anger. But instead of busting in on the happy couple and screaming, she stood there and watched them for a long moment. Slowly, a wicked smile appeared on her face and she tapped her long, bright red nails on her chin, thinking up a plan far worse than any plan her sisters ever came up with. With a smug smile to put the Cheshire Cat to shame, Queen Adella slowly walked into the view of the couple.

Reginald noticed her first since Alice's back had been facing the wretched Queen. His body stiffened as he stared back at the royal woman and he pulled Alice behind him slightly in a subconscious effort to protect her from the veiled threat that walked in on their happy moment. His heart pounded faster, this time it was not in love…but in fear.

What Is This? AN UPDATE? Holy Wow!

I am so ooberly sorry for such a long delay. I have been meaning to update for a while, but things kept getting in the way, namely school and being sick too much, even Now i am trying to update without passing out. My wisdom teeth were drilled out yesturday and I have been sleeping most of the day...such a pain!

Thank you again to earthenrose on deviantart, she has agreed to be my Beta for the rest of the story! Thank you very much earthenrose!

Now there will be fewer mistakes in future chapters! Yay! haha


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